The Post That Won’t Be Famous

My morning routine has been pretty consistent for the past few years. Wake up in the morning from the pitter patter of little feet, wearily stumble down our crickety flight of stairs, start a pot of strong coffee, and flop on the couch to do some Bible reading.  I read Bible verses every morning, if I don’t something feels “off” all day.  I read while kids crawl on me, I read while little people play a game of bull riding and wrestling on the floor in front of me, bumping and pushing at my feet and legs, but I rarely read in quiet.  There will be a time for that Lord willing, a time where quiet is what I know most.  When the kids are grown, when they no longer need me to make their daily breakfast, or start their school work.  When I wake in the morning to the birds sweetly singing, and the deafness around me hurts. But for now, Bible study coincides with a bit of chaos. Five children, 3 of whom I Homeschool, and 2 under four years of age can do that.

After some time with the Lord, I find myself gravitating to my Facebook account.  At first it was a few minutes to look over what my “friends” have been up to, or be redirected to the most current devotion from a fellow blogger, but as time went on, this addiction became much more than a few moments of time.  One morning within this past year, my six year old asked me why I’m “always” on my phone.  Another child insightfully commented they have to wait “forever” for me to help them because I’m on my phone.  And yet another child point blank told me “you’re addicted to Facebook mom”.  Startling revelations, you don’t want to admit.  I chose to ignore their comments, to roll my eyes, to huff, and to groan that my Motherly responsibilities were adequate, excusing my actions, or lack thereof.  But the subconscious questioning, the conviction of too much time spent online continued to grow.

I liked reading over the posts on my newsfeed … well, most of them … or maybe only some of them.  Facebook was a way to keep up with families I don’t get to see very often anymore.  It’s nice to see the new adventures their families enjoy together. But the “shamers”, you know the posts, while at the grocery store this man blah, blah, blah, the crazy driver on the road drove this type of car, can you believe the audacity of this woman in the parking lot?.  Those posts sucked me in. Whatever the complaint or judgment posted on the person/s I found myself scrolling through the comments to see what others thought.  Then while out in public, I would tip toe around strangers, for fear any action, whether good or bad could be construed into some fashion of Facebook shame. Then there are the political posts.  I tried unfollowing the feeds of those who posted regularly about their political opinions, or to see less of their stories while scrolling through my phone, but then I felt guilty that I might miss a cute or detailed post on their family, after all, they were pretty in-tune with my posts, liking or loving what I had to share. And I want to keep up with the friends who are interacting on my posts, except, wait … that one person, they never like or comment on any of my posts anymore. Did I do something wrong? Let me overthink my correspondence with them the last few months. This went on for months.  Justifying I didn’t have a “need” to be on Facebook, justifying how easy it would be to let go of it if I ever decided I would.  It wasn’t until I realized my morning reading routine had completely flip flopped that really caught my attention.  Instead of a few minutes on Facebook after time in God’s word, it became a rushed few minutes in God’s word in order to get to Facebook where I lingered all day.  That’s when I realized I needed to give it up.

March 6th, I decided was my last day to scroll through the Facebook newsfeed.  I still wanted to see what memories I had on my profile each day, but the newsfeed would no longer be a distraction to my day.  Do you know what I first noticed overall?  About 2 weeks into this “no Facebook scrolling” idea, I noticed I got more accomplished and I was more interactive and present with our kids.  Those differences I honestly expected in my mind, it was the next difference that really caught my attention.  I discovered I was happier!  Again, I had unfollowed most of the negative posts I saw, I was filtering what appeared on my daily scrolling up until this point, but with absolutely no scrolling on Facebook I was a happier more positive person.  My kids noticed it, my husband noticed it, and I noticed it.

Many years ago when I was sucked into the drama of tv soap operas. My husband would come home from work and our then only child and I would greet him at the door.  My husband could immediately tell if I had been watching soaps throughout the day. My mood was different, I was more irratable and a bit irrational.  The days I missed the soaps I was a noticably more pleasant Wife and Mommy.  Eventually he asked me to stop watching “those soaps” and I complied.  I’m so glad I did, and I can within a few moments of speaking to other Mother friends tell pretty clearly who spends time at home watching them now.  They change the way we see real life. They distort fake drama into our home life, a life where we are called to think only of true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praisworthy things; Philippians 4:8. When Julio cheats on Reba and she finds out from her ex-lover Nate who has just been diagnosed with terminal cancer, we find our emotions mixed in this fairy tale of affairs and we’re sad, suprised, and left in anticipating suspense for the next days psychodrama.  In the same way Facebook was creating this false sense of anxiety.  A fear of being shamed, distress from articles being shared that slandered values I hold so dearly , “listening” to complaints and “watching” people fight about EVERYTHING.  It was pulling me into the psychodrama all over again and I didn’t even realize it!  What I planned would be a temporary rest from Facebook scrolling has quickly become a desire to unplug from it completely.  Please don’t get me wrong, I may miss the daily happenings of some friends I followed, but I’ve learned it’s just as fun, easy, and more gratifying to contact them and schedule time together for us and our children.  And because I enjoy writing and journaling, I’m glad to have this blog as my outlet. Even if no one ever reads it! 😊 Because lets face it, this is the post that won’t be famous! 👈

*I will ponder the way that is blameless. Oh when will you come to me? I will walk with integrity of heart within my house; I will not set before my eyes anything that is worthless. I hate the work of those who fall away; it shall not cling to me. A perverse heart shall be far from me; I will know nothing of evil. Psalm 101: 2-4